Some days I’m ready to just cave, give in, and give ‘It’ up
Never before though, have I come this close
Never have I gone past mere thought and actually filled out the forms.
Tonight, I’m not ‘this’ close,
I am giving ‘It’ up.
Can I ‘lose’ something that is my essence?
I am really just a pretender these days when you think of it anyway.
Disenfranchised, I can only bitch, moan and vent in long diatribes
I am really just another ‘KT’
Would I wake up and suddenly discover that my past has vanished?
That I will now be an ‘alien’ without a motherland?
A visitor in the land of my birth each time I return?
Would it be so bad?
After all, it’s not like I really fit in any more
It’s not like the dual nature of my life will be legitimized soon
So,
I will be acknowledging the warm welcome offered
I will take the test (for a fee),
Give up that Passport, my hard earned National ID a.k.a. Kipande
Give up the right to ‘jivunia’
Renounce (?) the land of my birth
Pledge allegiance to the Maple Leaf
For what? You ask?
For the right to belt out ‘O Canada’…and claim it as mine?
For the country that allowed me my ‘Me-ness’?
Not entirely,
For the feeling that for once, I belong…that I count
That I am no longer on the outside looking in…
For that, I am giving ‘it’ up.
7 Comments
December 16, 2007 at 6:45 am
Why oh why?
If I may ask?
Does it have to be that way?
Is there no other way?
Can’t you keep both?
And belong to both?
Where will you turn to,
Should they serve you sour grapes?
I surely hope they won’t,
But what if they do?
Where else will you call home?
Think again…
December 16, 2007 at 9:20 am
@ Mwari…I have been eligible for several years to apply for Canadian citizenship, but I held back out of hope. For years we have been led to believe that dual citizenship for Kenyans is around the corner.I’m tired of waiting, and painful as it is to lose the rights of a full citizen of your homeland for no real reason (the govt. has never given us a reason as to why they cannot allow dual citizenship), my life is now in Canada- I call it home, for better or worse, this is it.
I believe that being born and raised in Kenya is a permanent tie that the government cannot sever…they can take away my passport, they can take away my ID…but can they make me feel less passionate about Kenya? In my heart I am a dual citizen, I don’t need the govt. to tell me otherwise.
December 16, 2007 at 11:51 am
Why I also ask?
Isn’t jivuniang’ as nice as it used to be?
But on the contrary,life choices should be based on what you want and believe in . Good luck on your choice!
December 16, 2007 at 7:36 pm
@ Cante…jivunia-ing is still nice, I just won’t be doing it with the official docs to back it up…I will now jivunia-ing to be Kenadian (Canadian of Kenyan origin), and so far it’s not too bad…
December 17, 2007 at 1:38 am
we lose yet another kenyan because of the system. sad. totally.
like mwari asks, i ask too. but i wish you well and hope all is well.
December 17, 2007 at 2:46 am
{{{Wambui}}} you are still Kenyan regardless of what happens. All the best and you know you will always have a home here.
December 18, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Modo, I toyed with the idea of just not telling Kenya that I’m now Canadian, but figured the consequences of being caught wouldn’t be worth it…
Gish…awww shucks, watch now as they allow dual citizenship the day after I return my Kenyan papers LOL