Bridal Musings 1.0

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All I did was break the news of impending marriage to close friends/family/and now the whole world (If I haven’t told you personally yet…well, now you know!)! The who/where/when are kinda irrelevant at this point. My news has resulted in various reaction permutations:
a.) surprise: ranging from Congratulations! to WTF!!!- from not one but several school friends with whom I made a (now forgotten) pact to go on vacations around the world as Fabulously Single Gals…@ Kakenia, I will still be going on vacations if you’ll still have me!
b.) Exultation: “Praise God!- this from my mother…leaving one to wonder what deals she’s been secretly cutting with the Almighty as regards the (un)marital state of her children.

Here’s how part of the “I’m engaged!”-conversation went:

 Me: “…so we’re getting mar-…”
 Mum: “…Praise God!”
 Me: “…-ried!”
(Good thing that very few verbs start with MAR-…otherwise it could have been very awkward)

My big sister (ever the woman of few words) had a more sedate “Oh goody!” …we are an understated family- histrionics do not become us!

c.) Gleeful delight: this from my favourite romantic and (maid-of-honor) who sees the wedding as a culmination of the ‘childhood sweetheart story’…to her credit she was the first one to mention the M-word, along with “visions of flowergirls, colour schemes, etc”
d.) Incredulity: this from some family members who probably thought my announcement was somewhere along the lines of my ill-fated attempt to break the Guinness “most opening-shutting of a door by a human” Record…an attempt cut short by my dad’s “Shut That Door” (said in the quiet, gritted-teeth mode that spelled doom)! I’m not taking it personally- I can be very impetuous/capricious/out-there…but this time it’s for real.

Digression: My dad, while very happy about the news, asked that I caution remind the lucky guy that as he puts on his dancing shoes, he better know that the father-in-law is totting up the tab by the minute (new fridge to replace W’s lock-picking attempt: check, reimbursement for car repairs for all the scratches that W inflicted- including hitting a pedestrian: check, 1 unused engineering degree: check, accoutrements of miscellaneous hobbies: check). My dad is just dying (I know) to flex his knowledge of obscure Kikuyu traditions during the witty parry and thrust of wedding negotiations…

Now that the news is out there, I, as a bride-to-be have realized (thus far) several things about getting married Kenya-style:
- It’s not really ‘your special day’…it’s more like everybody else’s day…your opinion isn’t ati tha-a-t important.
- a Barbeque with a minister to do a quick blessing doesn’t count as a wedding Kenya-style (E’s friends are convinced there’s something wrong with me…they can’t believe that there exists a woman who doesn’t want a big, flouncy, white, over-the-top, garish, lavish, frothy, satiny, wedding)
- A civil ceremony at the AGs chambers, while a very reasonably priced cost saver (for something like 6K you can get hitched), quick and easy, will not really fly with my mum and the rest of the ‘PCEA-crew’…I hear that the WWWITC (W will wed in the church) committee has begun its machinations- tithe has started being paid on my behalf in preparation for the “proof of membership” moment! Pity nobody has mentioned to the committee that I haven’t taken communion in years eh?
- if you don’t know what you want (yet), woe unto you…there are plenty of people to tell you what you will love (N. I love you for your patience with ideas…but please, no more descriptions of fondant flowers…the one thing I do know- the cake is a Strawberry shortcake or bust! LOL).
-in today’s Nairobi, there’s always someone willing to sell you whatever you want to buy/rent (flowers, luxury sedans, dancing dwarves that also carve meat, Kayambas, tents, seats, port-a-loos) how many times will I hear about so-and-so’s wedding that came complete with goldfish bowl centerpieces…(I wonder what happened to the fish after the occasion)…how much I wonder for my khanga oriented fabric tent-décor?

I’m still on the fence re: the Wedding (not the marriage, just the celebration), but I need to decide soon…I hear August is peak wedding season in Nairobi and if I want to book a cool venue, I’ve got to decide soon what I want. My (lucky) groom is being very supportive: He is very involved in all the decision-making (rather, he is fully informed of all the decision-making)…I must say he’s taking my erratic swings of opinion in his stride…He probably just wishes that  I would settle on the wedding-mode I want to be in (and soon)…Part of me wants to go all out (think: frothy white satiny dress, veils, bridesmaids, singing aunties, Kiondo-carrying, Njahis, flowers, venues, caterers) because of my 93 yr old maternal grand-dad, my paternal grandfather’s surviving sisters, my aunts and uncles, cousins, our friends, my parents and sisters, and like 5% of my being, who would enjoy a ‘real’ wedding, while the other part wants to remain true to the ‘rebel’ in me, to change stereotypes with a $2,000 wedding, complete with my cotton dress, casual barbeque (with a 15 min interlude for the ‘blessing/vows’), followed by dancing to ‘90s hits all night (eating sushi, roast pork and doing tequila shots) …you know, simple, yet fun (yeah tell that to people who’ve already started toning their shoulders for the halter-neck bridesmaid’s dresses!)…decisions, decisions (and I thought that deciding to forsake all others was the ‘biggie’…kumbe, it’s garden wedding versus cathedral affair- that’s what’s ‘important’ LOL).

For now, like Mr. Hyena in that children’s story (you know, the one who couldn’t decide which party he wanted to go to, keeping feet on both paths till he split in half)…I’m planning both: the wedding-y do, and a ‘90s-themed ‘after party’…hopefully I don’t turn into Bridezilla during all this, or worse, forget to order forks (only to remember this as I swan down the aisle LOL).

The wedding chronicles are going to be a fixture on my blog for approximately the next year.

Disclaimer: if you read this and you are a family member, it’s a snapshot of my feelings/thoughts at the moment of writing…not necessarily how I really feel…more like my impressions of the process etc…I’m really grateful for all the ideas- even the ones I’m secretly rolling my eyes at! @ E- I can’t really imagine sharing this experience with anybody else- you rock!

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